viernes, 2 de enero de 2009

Note to self from when i was 25- 28, to myself at age 45-50 during my "mid-life crisis"

Dear me,
If i'm reading this, then I made it a couple of more years and we didn't get to see the apocalypse just yet, bummer, we where looking forward to it, anyways, this is a mental note, with different stuff and rules, things I said i would never do, 'cause its just plain wrong, and since i'm in my "mid-life crisis" i probably forgots some of them...this is for your own good...

So, in no particular order:

- I will not dye my hair to hide grey hair, "just for men" ? NO! , age with dignity dude.

- No earings, dude, you didn't do it in highschool or college, 'cause you just didn't feel like it... earings shout "mid-life crisiisssssss" (tattoos are ok)

- No new sports cars, after 35, you look ridiculous, dude, if you have money for a decent car, buy a good "succesful business guy car"... i suggest a good SUV, BWM (4 doors), those new volvos are pretty nice, not a lincoln or a cadillac, those are waaay to tacky... "classic sports cars" for the weekend are cool, but they're just for fun...('57 chevy bel air, 64 mustang, '69 charger) like big toys, you can buy them 'cause YOU like them, not to pick up 20 year olds....

- Apply a maximum of 10 years on girls, you filthy old bastard, remember how silly it sounded... "she likes me for myself, not my brand new car or money", perv, specially if your married... then don't even think about it.

- And don't get me started on doing sports to impress chicks, and feeling "young at heart".

- Comic OK, we've learned to accept our destiny... those shirts with full-over prints, not OK

ON KIDS: if for some strange reason, nature decides you should reproduce... remember the things you said about the following subjects:

- Read to them, we don't like children that much, much less dumb kids.

- Earings, fashion sense, hair color.... do whatever the hell you want, as long as it doesnt get you kicked out of school, and by the way, finish college, on anything, seaweed if you want, after that, you can do whatever you want, join the circus, but get that degree.

- "I want a tattoo", discuss the longetivity of a tattoo, consecuences... and suggest he/she wait for 6 months, 'cause sometimes the meanin' of the tatoo looses force.... as long as it isnt a twitty bird, or bart simpson, or the boyfriends/girlfriend name, it aint the end of the world.

-"Dad, I'm Gay" ... ok, it's...ok, as long as your one of those really clean, rich gay guys, who do the men stuff, not those flaming queer guys... and even so, if it's one of those flaming dancin' queer guys... you'd better be bigger than Liberacce, ... meaning...just do things right.

-Teach them "not to be assholes", thats your job.

January 2009

1 comentario:

Miss Jim dijo...

And at the same time, your seaweed remark reminds me of this:

ja JA!

But yes, letters to future us are very important.